As I got older and a lot of my relationships have failed, most of them I ended. I broke them off for various reasons; Lack of intimacy, selfishness, and really not knowing me. I can be very overbearing at times. I get that, but in relationships, we date to get to know each other and to build. I dated a boy a year and a half, one time for my birthday he bought me a cake. Well, I don’t eat cake. So you have been dating me for a year and known me for two years. He never saw me eat cake so why would he buy me a cake. You might think I am being hard on him but I am not. This is something simple. If you know somebody and really liked them you going to pick up on their likes and dislikes. He obviously hasn’t been really knowing me. Sometimes they love the thought of you and not actually you. This doesn’t really anything to do with lowering my standards but it does have something to do with a person getting to really know you. A lot of times men would try to have you lower your standards so they can slide in. but DONT!
if you are dating ask that person, “are we dating? or are we sexing? Are you having real conversations or are you just talking enough to get wet. A lot of times sex make things complicated and confusing. But you have to really think to yourself, is this relationship growing or are we settling because of we here now. Dating is supposed to be fun and you learning yourself and this is actually helping you on your communication skills. If the person you dating is not helping you grow then why be with that person.
Seriously sis, don’t settle. No matter how lonely you get and that itch that needs to be a scratch. A lot of times I knew exactly what I want from a man and how I wanted him to treat me but I settled. I did it because I was lonely. Self-love is the best love. As a woman, we make a lot of sacrifices for our families, jobs, friends and especially our spouse.
Women settle for various reasons, loneliness, self-esteem, sex, and money. The reason why you can’t look for that to anybody but yourself. If you go out looking for that then you settle with somebody who will buy chocolate ice cream when you don’t even eat chocolate or ice cream. Men would say you doing the most but you’re not. Once you stop settling then you will cancel out all the weak ones and the real strong ones will be there. A real man will hold you down through your insecurities, flaws, and beauty. Stop looking at men for their potential of who they will become and look at who the man who he is right now. Sometimes we love people for their potential and get mad at who they truly are. Love someone for them and like the person, they have potential to be. You cannot change a man so please stop going into something thinking you will. You can’t sis.
I love all my Queens and want the best for you all. So If you want a healthy relationship with your partner. Remember this, “An intimate relationship is one in which neither party silences, sacrifices or betrays the self and each party expresses strength and vulnerability, weakness and competence in a balanced way.” – Harriet Goldhor Lerner